Love, Hayley

“Dear NICU Mama, I see how much courage it took to grieve the loss of what could have been and attempt to embrace your new reality.

I see how much courage it took to get out of bed this morning so that you could get ready to see your baby in the NICU, not knowing what today may bring.

I see how much courage it took to leave your other little ones at home so that you could go visit your newest addition.

I see how much courage it took to walk into your baby’s NICU room and see them in an incubator with multiple tubes and wires attached to them.

I see how much courage it took to stand outside that incubator, only being able to touch their head and tiny hands through the small doors even though you longed to hold them close to your chest.

I see how much courage it took to say goodbye to your baby and walk out of the NICU everyday, just to do it all again tomorrow.

I see how much courage it took to hold it together while you had to ask for permission to hold and feed your baby when it felt like your baby didn’t belong to you, but rather to the nurses and doctors.

I see how much courage it took to seek help when you felt like the walls were caving in and you had no more tears left to cry.

I see how much courage it took to try to give yourself grace and not to blame yourself for all that was happening.

I see how much courage it took to see the light at the end of the tunnel despite being fearful that something might set your baby’s discharge day back.

I see how much courage it took to dress your little miracle in their going home outfit, place them in their car seat and walk out of the safety net of the NICU, hoping that everything you went through would be a distant memory, but also worried that the trauma would live with you forever.

I see how much courage it took to be a NICU mama, no matter how short or long your journey.

Mama, do you have any idea how strong you are? When you look back on your NICU journey, you should see a mama with more courage than she ever thought possible, more hope than she thought she would ever need, more resiliency than any mama should have to have, and most importantly, a mama with a never ending love for her baby.”

Love,
Hayley