“Dear NICU Mama, When your baby sees you, they see strength. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to yell and scream and feel every emotion. That doesn’t make you weak. Your baby feels every ounce of love and support. And when they look up at you – even if their eyes can’t open all the way because of the big CPAP machine on their face – they see the strongest, most courageous parent. Your strength gives them the strength to keep fighting and getting stronger. You might feel like they don’t recognize you if you’re not there 24/7, but they know you and they love you.
It’s okay to grieve the newborn experience you expected. You’re now in a club that nobody expects to be in. Welcome to a community of the strongest parents out there raising babies tougher than they ever should have had to be. It can be scary, stressful, messy, but can also be beautiful.
Take every day as it comes, but also try to celebrate the wins – because there will be wins! And not just milestones for your baby; try to celebrate your own wins too. Putting on your first real pair of pants, going for your first walk, hand swelling going down enough to finally put a ring back on. Accomplishments are accomplishments no matter how small they may seem.
Your baby sees your strength and love. They are getting the care they need because you helped get them there. The future may feel uncertain, but when graduation day comes it will be worth every second.
You are stronger than you think and you’ve got this mama.”
Love,
Mariah
More of Our Journey:
“My daughter Amelia was born on her due date after an unremarkable birth experience. But at 36 hours old, the nurse noticed something was off about her breathing and after monitoring, she was admitted to the NICU with a bacterial infection. Amelia spent 24 days fighting bacterial meningitis and early sepsis – receiving help breathing (CPAP then oxygen) as well as IV antibiotics. Maybe I was naive, but I didn’t know that it was possible for a full term baby to end up in the NICU, especially not for an extended stay. This is a club I never thought I would be a part of, but now that I’m here I have found so much support and love from other NICU parents, while also struggling a bit to find a community of NICU parents with experiences like mine. I want to be a voice for less common NICU situations – a NICU baby doesn’t always mean preemie, just like breastfeeding doesn’t only mean nursing! – and full-term NICU parents also deserve to find community and support that reflects their unique experiences. Amelia is now almost 6 months old and she is thriving. She’s the happiest, silliest little girl. She likely won’t remember her NICU stay, but I will never forget it. On Amelia’s graduation day, the staff gave her a book signed by the head neonatologist as a keepsake of the incredible team who cared for her. And every time we read it we tell her about her strength and courage in those early days.”